Well that was interesting. Jeremy and I went to an event that featured a bikini show and they opened it up to the crowd to participate. In return for you modeling a bikini, you would get to keep the bikini. So, I do not need another bikini and I certainly do not need a bikini that I choose from a rack of about 30 bikinis of all sizes. As all women know, bathing suit shopping is not the most fun and the idea of strutting my stuff in front of God and everyone in a suit that I don't even get to look at in a mirror was not high on my list of things to do. But it was on my list and I could tell Jeremy really wanted me to do it. So...I sucked it up, threw on my game face and got in line.
The first challenge was to come up with a stage name and an interesting fact about about myself. I'm not going to tell you what I chose because, well I'm just not. Needless to say, they were designed to get me pumped up and to feel as confident as possible. I so wanted to walk away, but then I would turn around and see Jeremy smiling like a little school boy and I stayed put in line. When it was my turn to choose a suit, there was basically one suit left that would fit me. Made the decision making process a whole lot faster. Definitely not the suit I would have chosen, but just don't think about it and you'll be fine.
The whole line of about 18 women then lined up beside the stage. We were told we would just have to get on stage and pose and walk off. Uh, no that is not what we were doing. Much to my horror, they introduced the first lady by her stage name and she got up there and danced. She danced!! Oh, dear God, do you mean I have to dance? This can't be happening. I was at least consoled by the girl in front of me who was totally and effortlessly hot and who was way more freaked out than me. I thought, good grief woman, all you have to do is walk on stage and stand there and people will be impressed. I'm going to have to put on the freaking show of my life here.
I was number 15 which meant I had 14 other girls including Miss Hottie, who ended up doing the splits by the way, to watch and wait for. My turn came and I just went for it. If I was nervous, I don't think you could tell. I actually strutted on stage in heels and a bikini. And then I danced. My two goals there were to 1. not look like Elaine from Seinfeld and to 2. not let my heel slip through the cracks in the decking causing me to fall flat on my ass. I have no idea what I looked like, but people were cheering, so I just kept going. After I walked off, the DJ said who wants to see a little more from (insert a stage name here)? Lordy mercy, I swung my hips like I was something special and actually opened my arms wide and summoned applause from the audience before I danced again.
My time on stage felt like an eternity, but in the end it was actually fun. I have just as many body issues as the next person, but I tried to remember part of being beautiful and sexy is the confidence you exhibit. The hot girl in front of me was shy and you could tell she was uncomfortable. She got applause, but not as much as the woman after her with at least 15 to 20 years on her. Later in the bathroom of the venue, I had changed back into my clothes. I was standing at the counter with two other woman. Right beside me was one of the show participants still in her bikini and beside her was a woman who had just cheered us on from the crowd. She looked at me in the mirror and said, you were amazing up there. You were one of the best ones. Great job. I know she was being genuine, because she said nothing to the bikini clad girl in between us. It made me feel awesome.
Fake it 'til you make it, baby. Fake it 'til you make it.